Thursday, 24 January 2013

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

While Tuesday was wonderful, yesterday was not. Funny how that happens. Cutting to the chase, yesterday I submitted my last paper for the fall semester along with a piece of artwork for an exhibition (to be held Saturday...I will blog the show despite today). I had 30 mins (a 'VIVA' for those in the UK) to read my paper and discuss my piece with the director of the program and another teacher.

While they thought my paper was very well articulated, they didn't feel my art represented the message I was trying to portray. I sat through 30 minutes of criticism, at which point I broke down...yes again. God only knows what they think of me now. As I teacher myself, I recognize the benefit of constructive criticism. The hard part was, I had left for school yesterday afternoon very excited to present work that I was extremely proud of. I'd worked hard on it, and I'd pushed myself out of my normal realm. To me, this was work that was authentic and truly meaningful. I did not anticipate some of the comments that were thrown my way.

I left feeling broken and angry (yes, be glad you didn't pass me in a dark alley).

Last night after ranting to 'S', I savoured a glass of wine, and had a look through some quotes I'd been collecting on pinterest for a rainy (snowy) day such as this. Here are a few that are speaking to me, as I try and put one foot in front of the other (at least until the art show is over!). I promise you, I will also keep in perspective, that here I am, sad about a stranger's criticism, on some silly artwork I produced, while spending a year abroad, completing my Masters. First World problems. I'm aware. I'm aware, but I'm still grumpy.

Back to the quotes....some of you might also be in need of a little inspiration:

Below is what I thought I'd done....guess not.

But maybe this was the problem...

after all, that's why I'm here isn't it??

But I was trying so hard to do this...

I know I need to keep this in mind...

And this is what I will do...

But today (sorry if I offend anyone), I'd like to scream this at the top of my lungs...

.....and that is all.


  1. Keep your chin up C; your comments are so insightful and your quotes were very motivating to read :-)

    We all have bad days. Just remember that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! xo

    1. I totally agree! Thanks for the words of support. Today was better than yesterday, and I'm sure by tomorrow it will be like water of a duck's back :)

  2. Don`t even worry about it, those people were maybe having a worse day than you are now and just needed some Brilliant, Canadian-made artwork to take it out on!

  3. I can recall a number of times when a crit made me second guess myself. But it does somehow make you look at your art and purpose as a creator in new ways. AND it doesn't mean you need to agree with what THEY think. Contrast can be good - but if they were mean about it, they suck! :P I'm proud of you if that means anything :)

    1. Thanks Ange- They weren't mean, just lacking in the positive feedback department. I probably need to hear it, but when it's not an area of confidence to begin with, it definitely knocks you sideways. I'll get over it.

    2. They still suck if they couldn't find something positive to say about your work! By the way, your last blog was awesome! So honest and I really connected with it. Especially the 20-something vs. 30-something experience ;) haha Looking forward to hanging out in March! :)